Yesterday was a BIG day for me! My baby went to Kindergarten. I've been through the first day of Kindergarten twice before but this one was completely different. I had a very hard time when my first one went. I cried and cried and cried! I just didn't want her to go. I knew I would miss her. I knew our lives would never be the same. I knew she'd start growing at hyper-speed once school started!
I was right!
When my second went, I was still sad about the fact that I would miss her. I just wasn't as emotional. I kind of felt guilty about that!
My third, and last, was HARD. I was emotional like the other two, but way more nervous and uptight than with the girls. Max has always had a hard time separating from me. At preschool last year, the teachers would have to take him from me as he would cling to me and cry. And I worked there! So I was scared to death that I wouldn't be able to get him in the door! He did great though. No tears or fighting it but when I left him, he looked TERRIFIED. He was pale and frozen still on the floor in front of the puzzle piece he was supposed to be coloring. I almost grabbed him and ran out the door!! That was the picture I carried in my head ALL DAY. Even though I KNEW he would be fine...and he was...I just couldn't get that horrible picture of him sitting there so small and so scared out of my mind.
He, of course, did great. His teacher said he talked to her...and then added ALL DAY - haha...and seemed to be really comfortable with everything. Relief!!
Now I am getting used to my new world! A world with lots of time alone! It is amazing how different things are now! Yesterday, when I was ready to leave for work, I just grabbed my purse and left. I didn't have to give anyone notice or wait for anyone to put on shoes or make sure anyone went to the potty. When I was done at work, I grabbed my purse again and just...left! I've worked at my little preschool for 7 years and have always had one, two or three kids with me...and all of their stuff...and had to wait for them to come out of the classroom...and had to make the painfully slow walk down the hall...and stop to go to the potty...or come back in after we got all the way to the car with all of the stuff because someone needed to go potty or forgot their amazing artwork!!
Today we walked to school and I walked back home...alone!! It was so quiet and peaceful. I walked at the pace I wanted to walk. I prayed. I observed the world around me.
It's a whole new world! And as nice as that is, it doesn't make me miss the kids being with me ONE BIT.
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